Exhausted….check.
Emotionally drained….check.
Irritable…check, check,
Wine…check, check, check…maybe could use more.
The girls made it through the Winter like champs….well so I thought. I got the flu a month or so ago and somehow managed to keep it to myself. I was so proud! Yay me! But after this past week…wow. Just wow.
It’s been a week. A long, crazy, a is this even real life? week! I can only handle children doped up on Tylenol, Motrin and Benadryl, sick with fevers for so long. It seems just when one is getting better another one comes along with something wrong.
In the past four days, I have made a visit to Minute Clinic, a visit to Urgent Care, the ER and a Vet visit. Yes, a sick dog in the midst of sick kid chaos. A nasty cold, unknown rash, dog with diarrhea from jumping in the pond outback, and wait for it….a dog whose penis got stuck out. Like the whole thing. Out.
I give zero f*cks y’all. I’m tired. I’m exhausted. My house is chaotic. I am drained.
Sunday night Brynna started complaining of a sore throat, and she had a fever. Easy enough right? It has to be strep. Easily treatable. Pretty predictable diagnosis. Things in the house will go back to normal in a few days. But, that wasn’t the case here. We are dealing with a five-day virus with no real solution but to “let it run its course”.
Five days of a fever, cough, sore throat. A miserable whiney, tired 8-year-old. With whom I have stayed home from work with for the past 3 days. That I just yelled at because the house is a mess. I also have a 10-year-old who is home because she has a rash on both cheeks, the itching is miserable. A 10-year-old I just yelled at because she let the dog out and it tried to run away. The same dog that jumped in the pond last week. I feel like the worst mom when I get annoyed with them because they are sick.
Here’s the truth: as a working mom I feel guilty about someone else watching my sick kids. If they can’t go to school I feel like I should be the one home with them. I also feel guilty if I’m home with my sick kid because I miss work. Sometimes I feel that I am judged for having sick kids. But they will always come first.
As the saying goes… “this too shall pass” One day, they will be driving themselves to the doctor. One day, I won’t have to take the day off to make sure they are taken care of. One day, I won’t have daughters that need me (as much). This is just life in the moment. I am going to embrace the chaos, or at least try to.