This is NINE.

Nine. This Friday, my “baby” will be turning Nine. Friday the 13th. Seems about right for a nine-year old if you ask me.

I’m sure you know all the songs about our babies growing up too fast, “Don’t blink” and “You’re going to miss this”. Believe me there were many nights I have sat and cried to these songs while watching my girls’ grow up right before my eyes. But there are days like today that I will definitely NOT miss! While yes, life does get easier as the kids get older and become more independent, it’s now just a different set of problems and issues. We are now entering, what some have called, the “second half”. Tweens. The part nobody warns you about. The sh*t show.

I’m scared for Nine. Even though this is my second go around with Nine. I’m scared. This Nine is different from the first one. My first Nine was a little mouthy, and moody, but for the most part, dare I say easy. This Nine, I am not ready for this Nine. This Nine is sneaky. She is the Nine that begs for cell phone service and gets mad when I tell her she’s not old enough. She thinks she is grown, wants to hang out with older kids but is not ready. She is amazing but also awkward. She is brave. Smart. Beautiful and Unstoppable. But lately, I keep looking at my daughter and thinking “What happened to this child?” This Nine is an eye rolling, sassy-pants, crying at the drop of a dime, but wants to sleep with mama at night nine. She is between a child and wanna be adult. She is somewhere in the middle of “I love you, mama”, and “I’m fine, chill”. A Nine I most definitely do not recognize some days.

Being a girl mom, I knew these years were going to be tough. I think all the hormones that I am missing she has magically gained overnight. I fear these next years. Like want to hide in a closet with a blanket over my head scared. If you haven’t felt it yet, get ready moms of tweens. You will feel like you were punched in the gut at first. I have realized at this age “friends rule and parents drool”. And the parents have to make sure the friends who rule are a good influence. We have to monitor EVERYTHING and get yelled at while we do it.

The truth is, I know I’m doing okay, but some days are just scary. There’s no other way to say it. From the first day I held her when she was born, to her turning nine on Friday. The entire parenting journey has been and will continue to be scary. I’m just going to take a deep breath and embrace it. It’s just a stage. It’s not forever. But I know one thing for sure, I’m NOT going to miss it!

In the meantime. How about a glass of wine, anybody?

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