You didn’t have to be

To borrow a line from Brad Paisley:

“I hope that one day I’m half the dad you didn’t have to be.”

I wasn’t going to write a post that was about Father’s Day. This holiday isn’t the easiest when you don’t have a father in your life. Death, jail, military. Whatever the reason may be, it’s not easy.

The more I got to thinking, the more I realized that I do have a Father in my life. Maybe not my biological father, but he stepped in and has been my father by choice.

Step-Father. Half-Sister.

I saw a picture that one of my sister’s posted this morning on Facebook. It was a picture of my Step-Father and Two Half-Sister’s. It kinda caught me off guard. Not that I was upset or jealous it just got me thinking. These three people are not my Step-Father, and they are not my Half-Sister’s. That man is my FATHER and those two girls are my SISTERS. Just because my biological father isn’t in my life doesn’t mean that this man shouldn’t be acknowledged.

Just because I had a biological Father that was in my life until I was 14 doesn’t mean that I can’t have another one. My Step-Father, Scott came into my life when I was three. Thirty years he has been in my life, thru the good, bad and ugly he never left. He never gave up on me, he supported me, he was always there for me, and to him I am his daughter, not Step-Daughter Whenever he introduces me there is no “step” included, no separation between the fact that I’m another one of his kids.


“Real” isn’t determined by DNA. He was the one that’s been there and supported me my entire life. From coloring on the walls, to elementary school to teenage hormones and drama to walking me down the aisle on my wedding day to now loving his granddaughters as his own. He has been a constant paternal presence, providing guidance, support, and love. I don’t want him to think it goes unnoticed.

So today, on Father’s Day, it will never be an easy holiday. But I have learned that Father’s and Grandfather’s don’t always have to be biological. Blood is not always thicker than water. Thank you for being you, thank you for loving me and your granddaughters like your own.

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